Unrealistic expectations

     I am a huge fan of the Bachelor and the Bachelorette and do not mind admitting it! If any of you out there watch the show religiously , you would know that more often than not, the show ends with heartaches and heartbreaks. Only  17% of the bachelor/ bachelorette relationships have ended up being successful. One has to wonder, are shows such as the Bachelor or other dating shows a realistic way to get to know a future spouse? Or is it a recipe for a disaster?

     Personally, I could never partake in a dating show, but that is just my opinion! On shows like the Bachelor, the Bachelor starts off with twenty plus female candidates.  As time goes on, the numbers diminish and the bonds grow stronger between the women and the bachelor. As the number of candidates diminish, the competition rises and the affections grow deeper. I cannot see how  this could be healthy for a developing relationships . Not only that but condoning serial open relationships are not a good start either.  Many times on the show this has caused severe strains amongst the potential spouses and the bachelor/bachelorette.  For example, last year on the Bachelor; Brad Womack had proposed to Emily Maynard but it did not turn out to be the fairy tale they thought it would be.  Proclaiming that they were going to “make it” to People magazine. After the show, Emily told P the magazine about her issues with watching the show and looking back at Brad’s relationship with the other women of the show.  This overall ended up having a toll on the couple and Brad’s inability to remain faithful to Emily lead to the engagement ending soon after.  

     Another issue that surfaces with the Bachelor and the Bachelorette, is the atmosphere itself .  The potential spouses are all gathered in the same household and are first hand witnesses to all that happens with the other candidates and the bachelor .  This environment can be extremely straining and jealousy can cause tension .  When the couples go on dates they are in the most amazing destinations such as France, Tahiti , Bora Bora , Italy and the list goes on .  I personally would like to just go on the show for the vacations! But in all honesty, this is not a realistic atmosphere to really get to know a future spouse. Going on vacation with someone is one thing, but actually spending time with them just doing day to day activities is a different story.

Not only that but the dates that the contestants go on are second to none.  All of them being once in a life time experiences. Last year for example, on the Bachelor, Ben took one of the contestants to walk on the top of the Bay bridge in San Francisco, California.  Although it is an amazing experience , it is anything but realistic. How would a contestant or the bachelor/bachelorette even be able to tell if they are actually enjoying the company of one of the candidates or is it just the date itself? I wouldn’t care if I was trapped with my worst enemy if we were in a destination such as Switzerland or England.  You would somehow learn to like them!

    Shows like this not only give unrealistic expectations to the members that are partaking in the show itself, but it also gives false hopes to viewers at home. Although it would be nice to be taken on some of the dates that have been showcased on the series throughout the years, it should not warp the true meaning of falling in love. Magazines, social media, music and television have warped love to be a perfect romance (with flowers and chocolate included). Unfortunately, that is not the case. Love is far from any of those things and takes a lot of hard work, dedication, compromise and understanding.  

    Many viewers believe that the Bachelor and Bachelorette are the most romantic shows on television. Even if that might be the case , it is a surreal way not a realistic way of falling in love with someone. Although the show seems like a fairy tale scenario , it does not always end that way.  Once the show is all set and done many of the Bachelor/ Bachelorette relationships do not last because they do not know how to cope with the everyday type of situations.  Those everyday circumstances are what help build strong bonds and long lasting relationships, and not what culture, society and the media tell us.